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  LESSON 9: How Men Categorize Women and the Double Standard

How Men Categorize Women and the Double Standard

Even though Traditional dating has been changing, there are a few things that have not changed over the years. One is the way single men, in general, have been classifying single women. The other is the double standard that has been created because of this. Let's take-a-look at this and how it can help you.

Bottom line: Men will consciously or unconsciously quickly evaluate women by their words and actions, putting women in one of two categories. For centuries, women have been, and still are, categorized as Easy or a Keeper.

For Centuries, Women Have Been, and Still Are,

Categorized as Easy or a Keeper

If men think she will be easy to have sex with, she will go into the Easy category, and if they feel she wants to build a relationship first and wait to have sex, she will go into the Keeper category. Usually, Easy women are those who men have fun with for a short time with little or no long-term commitment. Keepers are women who they consider the prize they have-to work for, whom they respect more. These are women they end up loving deeply, marrying and committing to for a lifetime.

Men may not consciously be evaluating this way, but they are usually doing it subconsciously. All through history we hear men discussing these two different types of women in basically that way. There’s one they don’t want to take home to meet the family. They seem to compare her to a prostitute in that she has lower standards and is willing to give it all to a man without him having to do much for it.

These women are willing to give their all without much of a chase, without the men having to do much to win her. Some men see them as women of lower standards, not as valuable and not as worthy of their love and commitment. These are women who they will have fun with and spend time with but not commit to. These women are sometimes called play things, play toys, and throwbacks.

Men who date these women may say she is really a wonderful woman; she’s just not marriage material, or she just isn’t right for him. So, just like a fish that doesn’t qualify as a keeper is thrown back into the water, these women are thrown back for someone else to play with. She’s the one that men will have a short-term, no commitment relationship with while waiting for their Keeper.

Today, unfortunately, many good quality women looking for marriage unknowingly fall into the Easy category. Because they are lowering their standards.

Here Are Some Reasons Why

  • She may simply enjoy having sex right away and is unaware that it puts her in a category she doesn’t want to be in, which in turn could cause her to lose the man she is falling in love with.
  • She may feel that men are so used to getting sex right away that if she doesn’t keep up with the competition and give it to him, she will lose him.
  • Some women lower their standards because they are desperate to be with a man, even if he’s wrong, rather than not have anyone at all.
  • She may intentionally be pursuing a sexual relationship without commitment and putting herself into the Recreational dating mindset. Again, when this happens, she moves herself from the Keeper category to the Easy category.

Unfortunately, the women whom men categorize as Easy usually do not have or follow as high of a set of standards as the women who qualify as Keepers. In any case, her self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect are not as high as they need to be to qualify as a Keeper.

Even a good, quality woman with high standards, values, and guidelines can easily fall from Keeper status when she does not stand strong to the guideline of evaluating first. Instead of her wonderful, quality guy (who is a Keeper) seeing her as a Keeper, he will move her to Easy. So, ladies, please don’t lose your status and a great guy because you give in when he tests you. A good, quality man wants you to prove to him that you are a Keeper.

The Keepers

Then, there are women who men love, cherish, and want to spend the rest of their lives with. Most men looking for Keepers are looking for women who are self-confident enough to not feel they need to give a man everything right away in-order-for him to fall in love with her.

This type of woman usually understands that most quality men love to follow their God-given instincts. Most men get stirred up and excited about the challenge, the chase, and defeating the competition. They also desire to win a woman who is not like others. They love slaying her dragons (eliminating her problems) to become her hero and prove they are worthy of her love. They love to end up with a woman who is different than the others, one they see as special and more valuable: a woman to cherish. With the Easy women, they only open-up partially. With their Keeper, they will open-up and give fully of themselves, even to the point of giving her a whole-hearted, lifetime commitment.

The Double Standard

Today, there is a double standard on the dating scene. Single men can play around while waiting for marriage, but single women cannot. When a single woman who wants marriage decides to play around for a while or have fun having sex with different men while waiting for Mr. Right, she has moved herself out of the Keeper category into the Easy, or throwback category. It may not seem fair, but that is the way it is.

So, make up your mind ladies that you are a Keeper and then stick to your high standards. Prove it to everyone, even though you may want to have sex right away. Wait until you have evaluated his character, values, goals, and have a really-good connection growing between you both. The sex will be much better with a man who adores you and has worked hard to earn your attention and affection.

A Keeper will let men know right from the beginning that she has guidelines to follow, and he must be okay with that if he wants to date her. She knows who she is, where she is going in life, and what she wants in a man and a relationship. She lets him know how she wants to be treated by her words and actions. She stands her ground. Quality men respect this. It is easy for them to give her what she wants and to please her when he knows what she wants, where she stands, and that she has open and honest communication with him.

Simply share with him in your conversations that you have high standards and a set of guidelines you live by. He will know that if he wants to get to know you, he will have to allow you to follow your guidelines. If he encourages you to stick to them, you in turn, know he is a respectful man looking for a Keeper. He, in turn, will be proving to you that he may be your Keeper by how he is respectful in waiting and getting to know you first.

If he is a quality man looking for a Keeper, he will stick around to get to know you. Quality men want to please women. So, let him know what it takes to make you happy. To attract and keep a quality man looking for a Keeper, you need to love yourself enough to have a set of good, healthy guidelines such as those I am providing for you in my courses.

When you are with a good man, your standards and guidelines will help him, in his quest to make you happy. He will even encourage you not to slip up. Men only interested in sex will want you to slip up and will even try hard to get you to break the rules. This-is-why it is extremely important that, after you set your guidelines, you stick to them like you are glued to them.

Men Are Testing You

Ladies, when you tell a man you have guidelines and standards, he will test you. Yes, every man will try. Even my sweet, loving, Prince Charming husband and very much a quality man tried. Later, he said to me with a big smile and giggle, “I just had to try!” This is how men test us out to see who is a Keeper and who is just talking like one. I hate to say it, but most women today want to think they are quality women with high standards, but when it comes down to it, they give in far, far too easily!

I don’t only know this from working with thousands of singles for several decades, but I was one of them myself. I saw myself as very much a good, quality woman. However, before I knew this information, I often found myself getting caught up in the moment. The man I wanted... wanted me. How can I say no when everything seems so right? Sometimes, I hate to admit it, I became sexually involved with a man just because I didn’t want to get him upset and deal with his complaining about me saying no.

I know that there are many, many more women in the same position every day. They don’t really want to say yes, but they do. There are many reasons why women looking for marriage will do this. However, after they know the information I am sharing now, hopefully they will stand strong and prove they are a Keeper. I hope this will encourage you.

Keep moving through the men who will not respect you and your guidelines. Doing this will make you more attractive to the right type of men: those who are more attracted to and love women who are self-confident and hold to high standards.

Now, let’s turn this around. Not only is the man testing you to see if you will stand the test of time and prove you are going to stick to your guidelines, but you also should be testing him. Is this man worthy of you? Is he willing to respect you by waiting until you feel comfortable moving to the next step? The test goes both ways. Will you both pass or fail it? I say, “Stand your ground and find your Keeper!”

To Clarify

All men will try. They will test you at first to see if you will stand strong or give in. Those who are more interested in sex will keep pushing, even making you feel bad about your decision to wait a while. They will not help you stick to your guidelines.

Quality men who are Keepers, will also try at first, but they will not push you or try to force you or make you feel bad. They will make you feel respected. They will encourage you and make you feel good about sticking to your guidelines. They are proud of you and will not leave even when you stick to your higher standards. This is one obvious way you will know a Keeper.

Now is the time you have been waiting for. In the next lesson, you will see the complete list of IntegrityDating Rules for Success. Let's go!