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  LESSON 4: America's Core Dating Problems

America’s Core Dating Problems

Here is a list of what I believe are the deep-seated, core problems we are experiencing now in America. I will explain them more throughout this course, as well as the solutions.

Core Problems Presently Found in Dating in America

  • Singles have become very self-centered, wanting relationship pleasures to come quickly and without effort.
  • They have moved away from healthy values: honesty, respect, integrity, kindness, chivalry, etc.
  • Their focus is more on having sex and self-pleasure than building a serious, loving, caring, giving, committed relationship.
  • They have stopped following their natural instincts. Women are pursuing and walking in the man’s role, leaving men out of a job and confused on what to do.
  • They don’t evaluate first. They get too close, too soon, with the wrong people.
  • They stopped following important rules and helpful guidelines for laying and building a solid foundation, no longer building relationships that last long-term.
  • Many are settling for a co-dependent relationship, not understanding healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics and repercussions.
  • They have an incorrect mental blueprint when it comes to dating and love which keeps them doing the same incorrect things over and over, thinking what they are doing might still work.
  • They use impersonal technology when trying to get to know someone new. Texting, sexting, online chatting, messaging, are all impersonal and even interfere with healthy relationship growth in the early stages.
  • They no longer include all three types of love that are necessary for healthy relationship growth and long-term commitment.
  • They don’t pace their relationship growth. Because they are in such a hurry, they often skip important growth stages.

These are some of the reasons why we need The Rules for Success to help those who are looking for love and marriage. In the following lessons, you will find some of the reasons why we have the problems listed in Lesson One. You will probably find them very interesting and some even surprising. However, before we go there, I would like to address a couple of misconceptions you and your friends may have about love, sex, and romance.

Just Let Love Happen

Many think attraction and love should flow from within, in other words, just let it happen. I love that. I used to think that way for many years. However, after four decades of working with singles and watching and studying the results, I have discovered that for those who just let love happen, the relationship is less likely to grow in a healthy manner, making it less likely to succes.

All too often, singles get caught up in lust or the romance of it all and they misinterpret this for love. Later, they find there was not enough to hold the relationship together over time because the relationship had been built more on the hope of love and the feelings of sexual desire for each other. I now believe, true, long-term, committed love is developed from a combination of the feelings and logic.

Romance and Chemistry

When it comes to romance and chemistry, I’m all in! These are important aspects in a relationship. I call this the Heart stuff. I also believe it is important to include the Head stuff, for a good balance. Just like when you plan to start your own business. You can’t spend all your time basking in the excited feelings that come from thoughts of having a successful, productive business. You can’t spend all your time talking about all the money you will make, all the things you will do with it, and all the people you will help.

That’s all fine and good, but you still have-to put time into researching all the aspects that go into having a successful, productive business. You also have-to do the work. Relationship connecting, evaluating, and growing should be lots of fun but also takes time, skills, and knowledge to make it successful and lasting.

Many singles just want the fun. They don’t want to learn, evaluate, or work. Fortunately, not all singles operate this way. There are some who sincerely desire to do whatever is necessary to find love and keep it growing. These are the singles I hope to help with my books, online courses, webinars, and events. Are you one of them? If so, check out the next lessons. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at what is coming.

Now it’s time to clear up some confusion about lust, romance and real love. Love used to be confusing… until now!