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  LESSON 1 - Won't I Just "Know" When a Man is Right for Me?


Won’t I Just “Know” When a Man is Right for Me?

Absolutely not! That is why there are so many break-ups, divorces and unhappy relationships in the world. Most women don’t know how to judge or evaluate a relationship correctly. Men don’t either, but women have more control in the decision making as far as a relationship goes.

Let me explain. A man can’t call a woman unless she decides to give him her number. He can’t take her out unless she decides she wants to go out with him. He can’t kiss her, have sex with her or marry her unless she has decided she wants to go in that direction. This is why it is so important for every woman to know she has the power in where her relationships go. It is important for every woman to know she doesn’t have to settle for second best.

She needs to know how to differentiate between second best and spending her life with her Mr. Right, the perfect partner for her! This is what this course will help you do.

Making Love Decisions

  • Many women are led by their feelings and emotions. They are led by what makes them feel good. They mentally override the fact that what feels good isn’t always good for them. They justify in some way what they are doing so they can continue doing it… because it feels good and they don’t want those wonderful feelings to end.
  • Many women make love decisions by listening to their mind, emotions and desires, ignoring their female intuition, which may be giving them a red flag. Here is where things get confusing. Even if women could have a crystal clear leading from their intuition, most of them are not that closely in tune to it. All the noise in their heads seem to override it.
  • Women are greatly influenced by family, friends and the media. We trust them to give us good advice. We follow the media as if it has all the right answers for us. However, usually none of these will lead us in the right direction when looking for true love. Our heads are filled with what we have been told is right or what we see on television or in the movies. Society does things a certain way and we tend to follow in order to fit in and not be too different.
  • Many women create a scenario in her head that is not always true in real life. In her mind, she has the man she desires in love with her, even if he isn’t. She is so caught up with what is in her imagination that she is not in tune with what is really happening. She misinterprets things he says and does, often leading to making wrong or bad decisions. She may want him to be in love so badly that she imagines it.
  • Many women are now misinterpreting lust and infatuation to be love. Especially today, with everyone having sex right away. Two people get close sexually and one or both think they are in love. Only to realize they don’t even like each other, let alone have much in common except the sex. This is not true love. It will not last long-term. It is only a short term sexual experience.
  • Dating has evolved and changed dramatically in the past 50 years. It has lost many aspects that are important and helpful for finding and building a successful love relationship. Because of this singles are now going down a road that is confusing and frustrating.

This is why it is important to have the lists we will create in this course. They will help to keep you focused on the right things.

Why You Should Evaluate Every Man You Date

How many men have you dated, hooked-up with or spent time with that went nowhere? How many times have you started dating what seemed to be a really great guy only to have it end in a few days, weeks or months? Dating and breaking up, dating and breaking up, dating and breaking up, over and over and over again. Heartache and heartbreak over and over. When will it stop? Has it continued over and over like that for years? Will it be the same for years to come? How many did you cry over, hope would come back or had to take time to recover from? When you look back, do you see where you could have, and probably should have, eliminated some of them much sooner than you did?

You spent hours, weeks or months desiring a man who you were not completely positive desired you with all his heart and soul. Your emotions went up and down, in and out and all around. You probably have been in several, if not many, relationships that started out wonderful. He was so perfect; then it went downhill. I believe any single woman who has been out there in the dating scene for any length of time has her own stories of failed relationships to tell. Much of this comes from the fact that singles today usually do very little evaluating before jumping into new relationships.

Dating has changed over the years. It is not only accepted but expected for a woman to give her all right from the beginning. She is expected to jump right in, sexually and emotionally. It even becomes addicting for some women because with each new relationship comes the excitement of a potential love connection and the euphoric feelings of new love.

When This Happens to You

You may get butterflies in your stomach, have romantic, loving feelings or even desire to make mad, passionate love to your new man. You may give him your all in hopes he will see what a great catch you are. Only to find out days, weeks or months later, possibly after you have moved in together, that he is not right for you. You may work on trying to make it work. However, that just uses up your energy, wastes a lot of time and gets you frustrated. This is a common progression for those dating today. Unfortunately, the results of that type of dating is not working well for those who want to find love and long-term commitment/marriage.

Is It Love, Lust or Something Else

Singles all over the world are coupling and uncoupling over and over while looking for love. Most often when this happens they find out later that it really was something else other than love. Real true love, for both people, rarely happens quickly. So let’s look at some of the other reasons women may feel like they are in love.

  • She may enjoy the attention he is showing her. She may be dating a man who knows how to treat a woman well. He may pay a lot of attention to her. She may fall for him, even if he is not the right man for her, because he is a really nice guy. Later she realizes she wasted a lot of time on the wrong man.
  • She may want so badly to be loved that she misinterprets a man’s kindness to her as him being in love with her. If she has low-self-esteem or low self-worth this could cause her to be insecure, needy or desperate. In this case she will easily fall for just about any man who pays attention to her.
  • It may be infatuation. She may be so enamored with him that she imagines his love for her even though there is not any proof of it from him. She may build a wonderful love scenario in her mind that is not true in reality. Sadly, her bubble will eventually burst.
  • It could be lust, especially if both the man and woman have a strong focus on sex. Many women believe that if a man wants to have sex with her that he is in love with her. Not so! Most men will have sex just for the fun of having sex. They may not even like the woman they are having sex with. They very often have no intentions on staying with her. Don’t be misled! Having sex with a man before you evaluate him to see if he is the right person for you only puts you into recreational dating and will not bring anything serious.

Please remember that:

  • Often one of these happens to her long before he is even close to being in love with her.
  • Most men don’t fall in love quickly.
  • Most men are on their best behavior early in a relationship while they are evaluating to see if you will be Easy or a possible Keeper.

Men will usually test you to see if you are Easy or a Keeper. This means they want to find out if you will have sex with them right away. If so, you go in the easy category. You will usually remain there while he is enjoying the relationship, until he is ready to move on. If you will not have sex with him early, and he is looking for monogamy and marriage, there is a good chance he will decide to wait for the sex in order to build a relationship first. If he finds you may be his keeper there is a chance, over time, he may fall in love with you.

Women are very emotional beings. We find it easy to fall in love. But the consequences can be devastating. This is why I created the IntegrityDating process. It helps women find, connect to, and marry their perfect partner in a loving monogamous, long-term committed relationship.

I’ve learned the hard way that dating today has lost several extremely important elements. This has caused many singles who wanted monogamy and commitment to end up so frustrated that they give up on finding love. Some of them decide to settle for Friends-with-Benefits, Hook-ups and Booty Calls. This moves them into a very different category.

America now has several different dating styles. Which one are you in?

Dating Scenes Available Today

Recreational Dating

This type of dating is mostly focused on fun and self-pleasure. Singles in this category are mostly interested in relationships without commitment and monogamy. This group focuses on: friends with benefits, hook-ups, one-night-stands, the three-date rule, group sex, swapping, booty calls, and the like.

This type of dating is usually not long-term or commitment-based. It is not one that works for those desiring monogamy and marriage. However, it is a huge promoter of unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases), divorces and broken homes.

Traditional Dating

This is the type of dating America has been doing for over the last fifty years or so. This type of dating is mostly focused on finding love, monogamy, and long-term commitment (with or without marriage). However, these singles are now very confused on just how to accomplish that.

Some of the questions causing the confusion are; where to find quality dates, who should initiate the dates, who should pay, who should call back and when, and what is the best way to end a first date? The questions go on and on. This type of dating has been infiltrated by the hookup culture and sex is expected. It has become more like recreational dating and is also a huge reason for the increase in divorce, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases), and broken homes.

Traditional Dating has become extremely confusing, frustrating and dysfunctional. It no longer has healthy values or guidelines to help the couple build a successful stable relationship foundation. Traditional Dating is outdated and Recreational Dating does not help those who are seeking true love with the opposite sex.

Both of These Dating Styles Are Creating

Unstable Relationship Foundations!

So what’s a woman to do? Keep reading and you will get your answer. After I wrote my first published book I realized that my book was doing what all the other books were doing, treating the symptoms! Most all the books out there on dating have ideas for dealing with today’s traditional dating problems by treating the symptoms, not dealing with the roots of the problem.

I knew the only thing that would help, and what singles really needed, was to revamp the whole dating process. The core problem with traditional dating is that it has many roots; such as the lack of healthy values, not evaluating before getting too close, as well as, not following important and helpful guidelines.

Therefore, America needed a whole new dating process, one which embraces healthy values and guidelines, one that has men and women following the same guidelines; both of them understanding how to make it work. This is exactly why I looked back to see what worked the best over past centuries. It was courtship. So I took the best, most helpful principles from the courtship process and created a new process for our present society and the future of dating. I call it IntegrityDating. And with your help, we women will use it to bring back healthy values and important guidelines; not only to help this generation but for our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Don’t worry, if you want to stick with traditional dating, that’s fine. I’m just letting you know you have a choice. And this course will help you no matter which one you choose. Many of the tips and techniques I share in this course can be used even if you do not choose to use the IntegrityDating progression.


We now have a new, more successful way to date. This process is America’s newest breakthrough in dating. IntegrityDating includes all three types of love necessary for long-term commitment and does not promote unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STD’s, divorces and broken homes. Just the opposite! It promotes true love, respect, honesty, commitment, monogamy and all the good we as women deserve from healthy relationships with quality men.

America’s single women are now changing the dating scene by telling men they no longer date like everyone else, they prefer IntegrityDating. They are insisting that if a man wants to take them out he do it according to this new process.

This is what I told my husband and he agreed to date me according to the IntegrityDating progression. This is also a great way to weed out those who are not sincerely interested in a serious relationship with you.

So, why am I telling you all this? Because IntegrityDating is a process where you are the prize your man has to win. As he does what is necessary to win your heart he becomes your hero. It is a win-win for both people. I encourage you to incorporate it in your life and experience how much easier it is to have success in dating.

You can find this 3-Step process, which will take you from meeting to commitment, right here at the Academy: FindingLove.Academy.

And even if you don’t decide to use IntegrityDating for laying a solid foundation for a long-term relationship, this course on evaluating will do what it says it will do; teach you how to evaluate your dates in order to identify who is your Mr. Right. Therefore, these instructions will help you evaluate effectively in order to distinguish between just another nice guy and the Perfect Man for You!

Please Understand These. They will have an effect on finding the Perfect Man for you.

  • The Easy woman and the Keeper: Most men want to know right away if the woman he is about to start dating will be Easy to have sex with or if she is a Keeper who wants to build a relationship first and wait to have sex.
  • Categorizing single women: Most men will quickly ask a new woman to have sex with them in order to know where to categorize her. Her response will let him know if she will be Easy or if she is a Keeper. If she is open to having sex soon, he may stay for the sex and possibly hope for a relationship along with the sex. If she is not, and he is looking for a Keeper, he may stay to see if she is really worth pursuing, even though he knows he will have to wait for the sex. If she is worth it, he is willing to wait.
  • Enjoying the Easy woman while waiting for the Keeper: Most women, do not consciously know this evaluating and categorizing is happening. They still believe they have to give the man what he wants in order to keep him, in order for him to fall in love. They don’t know this puts them in the Easy category.
  • Pursuing a woman of value, the Keeper: Many men enjoy the excitement of pursuing a woman they feel is of great value. I have interviewed hundreds of men over the years. Most of them who wanted marriage said they would not mind waiting for sex if they were pursuing the woman they felt was valuable and desirable.
  • The man is the pursuer and the woman the responder. The process of finding and proving love works much better when each person is following their natural instincts. The man is instinctively the pursuer and the woman the responder. When the man pursues correctly it will be easy for the woman to respond positively. When he does, he then becomes her hero! This helps them connect and leads them closer to falling in love. The quality woman is the prize he has to win. As he pursues with kindness and respect he becomes her hero!
  • When you add sex to a relationship it takes your focus off important evaluating. Adding sex stirs up hormones and more excited feelings that will keep you from properly evaluating to be sure you are with the right man. Moving from one sexual encounter to another never gives you the time necessary to develop a meaningful relationship beyond the sexual. Sorry to say, most of your future together will be doing other things.