LESSON 11: Attracting and Connecting
#1 A confident woman will use her eyes to attract. When she sees a man of interest looking at her from across the room, she will look back directly into his eyes, holding his glance for a second or two. Do not look away. This is very important. This is the flirt.
It will feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s important that you don’t look away too quickly. When you do this you send the message that you are friendly, interested and approachable. Let your eyes reflect your positive attitude and interest.
This is a subtle but very powerful invite! This technique sends a specific message clearly and simply. I have practiced this for many years with wonderful results. It really works!
In order to get comfortable with looking men in the eye, practice looking into other people’s eyes, all day long. Tonight, when you are watching television, note the eye color of as many people as possible, and say the name of the color to yourself. Tomorrow, do the same with every person you meet, looking them right in the eye and saying their eye color to yourself in your head. Get used to looking people in the eye. Practice on people at work, school, church, or friends and family. If they notice you looking at them, just smile. It will make them feel good, like you are sincerely interested.
#2 Smile a lot! Keep smiling! This one thing alone can bring you more male attention than you can handle. Let your smile reflect your attitude; which should be happy, positive and confident. If an interesting man makes eye contact with you, don’t look away, hold eye contact and add a smile. Once you smile he will know that you are interested, approachable and friendly. Be sure to smile big at the men you are interested in attracting! If they are interested in meeting you they will find a way to do so. Note: Do not smile at men you are not interested in meeting or you will find yourself spending time trying to get rid of them.
#3 Use eye contact and a friendly smile. He is now subconsciously picking up the feeling that you are someone who is sincere and friendly.
During my years of research I would study singles while they were interacting at large events. When I would use the above eye contact and smile it would greatly increase the amount of men I attracted during that event. I knew my eye contact and smile was a clear invite for them to approach me – and they did, if not immediately, they would find their way over within the next ten to fifteen minutes.
Often I would ask the men why they approached me instead of the other hundred women there. Almost every time they would say, “Because you were smiling, and looked friendly. I knew there would be a good chance you would be friendlier then those women who are not smiling.”
One man actually had me look all across the room. He was right, not even a handful of women were smiling or even looked friendly.
So, smile everywhere you go all the time. Men are watching you. I even had a man follow me out of Office Depot and approached me in the parking lot. He said he saw me in the store and thought I was the type of woman he would want to meet. He was really handsome and sweet. So I did have a date with him. Unfortunately our lives were going in separate directions. So use your smile to help attract your Mr. Right. Keep smiling.
When I was going out, in order to keep myself smiling, I just kept telling myself to act as if I just thought of or saw something funny. That always put a smile on my face. I didn’t even have to think about anything funny. Just thinking about how I would act if I saw something funny would put a big smile on my face.
#4 While in a conversation with a man, listen intently and nod your head gently in response to whatever he is saying. This is another way of letting him know you are interested in what he has to say; that you are interested in him. Doing this before he asks you out will give you a better chance of being asked out. When you do this on your dates you will have a better chance of being asked out again and again.
#5 A smart woman will listen closely and ask questions. The man you are interested in needs to know that you have an interest in him. This is extremely important. This does not happen if you are constantly talking about yourself. It does happen when you focus your attention on him.
However, men do not need or want to know your life history at your first, second or even third meeting. What they do want to know (from my many interviews) can be summed up in three of my survey questions.
The first thing your date wants to know is if you are truly interested in him. Second, he wants to know if you will be fun. Third, he wants to know if you find him sexy and how soon you might want to have sex with him. Remember, he wants to feel you out so he can start thinking about where to categorize you: Easy or a Keeper. Your answer also tells him how soon he can plan on having sex with you.
So don’t get upset about this question. It is a very legitimate and important question for men. So you should put his mind at ease about this.
Let him know that you really enjoy making love to the right man at the right time. But since you don’t know him very well, you don’t know if he is the right one yet. Many quality men I have interviewed said they would not mind waiting if they knew a woman found them sexy and is looking forward to having sex with him. This answer gives him the challenge he needs to prove himself to be the right man.
#6 A wise woman will discreetly add questions into the conversation . She will not ask them as if she were doing an interview, hitting her date with one question after another. When you ask questions, you show interest. It also helps you learn what areas you can connect with him, where you have the same interests, as well as, what each other likes and dislikes.
Many questions can be disguised as part of an interesting conversation. If he says he was raised in Idaho, you may come back with… “I always wondered what it would be like living in that part of the country. I spent all my life in New York City. Tell me what it was like growing up in Idaho.” This is a great way to get information without interrogating him.
#7 Getting a man interested in you comes mostly from how you make him feel inside . This is more important and rates higher than your looks. Also, making him feel good inside doesn’t come from anything external, physical or sexual.
That’s right! Your looks or how good you are in bed are not extremely important. Making men feel comfortable, accepted, and desired rates much higher than your appearance or your sexual knowledge. Does that make you feel better? Relax and stop worrying if you are perfect enough physically or sexually. Put your focus on appreciating the man who holds your interest.
When you think about the people you like to be around, you will probably find that they all add to your life in a positive way. They make you feel good in some way. Now, are all your friends really good looking; probably not! So focus on how you can make your new guy feel good – without coming on too strong. Just think of him as a new friend you are getting to know, not a potential husband. Use sincere compliments and words of appreciation to make him feel good inside.