LESSON 7: How to Prove a Man is Worthy of You
Choosing your lifetime partner is the most important decision you can make in your life. That one decision will bring you wonderful joy and happiness or it will bring you extreme misery. How you evaluate your men is extremely important, so important I am creating a whole course for it.
As I said earlier, in a new relationship you must use your power by waiting to have sex for at least ninety days; three months. This timeframe can be longer, just be sure it is at least three months. This is very precious time for you to be evaluating and he must be proving himself worthy of you. I did not make up this time frame. It is the timeline many dating experts and phycologists agree with. But don’t tell your guy that he has to wait a certain amount of time; three weeks, three months or a year. Read on and I will tell you exactly how to handle this without scaring him off.
Think of dating as a process similar to applying for a job. Each man needs to have a probationary period in order for you to know if he qualifies to stay. Is he doing a good enough job? Is he winning your heart and proving himself worthy of being with you forever? Is he treating you with respect? Is he hanging in during the tough times? Do you know you can trust him? Do you feel more beautiful, more confident, more relaxed, and more peaceful inside because of being with him?
Only after the probationary period, after you get to know his character, values, goals and how well he treats you and others, only then you promote him to being exclusive. Only then does he qualify for the other benefits you offer; and no sooner! He cannot qualify in a few days or weeks. It takes at least three months for him to prove he is worthy of you. Many men know how to impress a woman for a while but taper off and stop as she gives him what he wants. Don’t make the mistake of giving too soon. Make him prove himself first, before you give more. The first three months is his time to give and your time to hold back. Just appreciate him for everything good that he does.
Don’t believe the myth that you have to sleep with a man in order to keep him. No way! Men who are into recreational dating spread that myth in order to get women to have sex with them right away, so they do not have to work for it. Think about it. Where are the men you slept with within three months? Are you happily married to one? I doubt it. Occasionally a couple who had sex early will still be together years later, but that is rare. Don’t help make men lazy. Make men prove they are worthy of your benefits. You’re not like other women! You truly are a unique and special woman! Prove that to the men you date!
A man that is not that interested in you will walk away from the job, because he doesn’t want to work and do what it takes. However, a man truly interested in winning your heart will stay, prove himself and win the rewards. Your Prince Charming will slay the dragons and then proudly ask what other problem he can get rid of for you.
When you hold out until a man proves himself, there are two winners. He wins the prize he has been working hard for and you win the man who is head-over-heels in love with you, a man who is captivated by you. (That is what my husband tells me; I captivated him. He also tells me he adores me and is enamored with me.) This is what I want for you. This is why I have taken the time to create these courses and to share my secrets with you.
While millions of other women
continue to make the same mistakes…
You will be doing the opposite and
captivating your Prince Charming!
Remember: You have the power and control. A man can’t get anywhere without your consent. He can’t get your number unless you agree to give it to him. He can’t take you on a date without your consent. He can’t kiss you without your consent. He can’t have sex with you without your consent! You are the one who decides and who has the power to say yes or no to anything. Therefore, you are the one with the power.
You Are the One With the Power!
Use Your Power to Teach Him How to Treat You!
While your man is in his probationary period remember that he needs to get a paycheck for what he is doing now. I’m not talking about the benefits he gets later, after the three months or more period. From day one he deserves to be rewarded in some way for the good things he is doing right now on the job. That payment comes in many forms.
In the beginning of a relationship, the Casual Dating stage, the privilege of your time and attention is his payment. You are sharing your time with him, you are taking his calls and going out with him, this is his payment.
Men have told me that they feel privileged when a woman says yes to going out with him, taking the time to fix herself up and taking time to get to know him. That, they tell me, is their reward for asking her out. Your time and attention given to him is something valuable to him. Therefore; it is his payment. As you progress to the Romantic Dating stage, your hugs and kisses are his payment.
Many men I have interviewed have told me it is a thrill for a man to know a woman is fixing herself up just for him and scheduling time out of her busy schedule just for him. It also makes him proud to have her walking next to him.
This is the affirmation he needs during Casual Dating. Then, in the Romantic Dating stage, your added hugs and kisses reward him until he completes his probation period. So don’t think you have to pay him back with sex. That is saved for his reward after he has proved he is worthy.
To quickly recap: During the first three months you are taking time to evaluate if he could be your perfect partner, he gets a paycheck of words of affirmation and encouragement, then cuddles, hugs, and kisses. Once you decide he has proved himself to be there for you, you are being fulfilled with his presence in your life and believe there is a good chance he’s your Keeper, he then gets a promotion and raise. You then become exclusive.
Eight important things to happen before becoming exclusive.
Please be sure you both get tested for all sexually transmitted diseases before you exchange any body fluids. You are too precious an asset to this world to take a chance on having sex with anyone without proof of a clean slate. And just in case you don’t already know, condoms do not prevent STD’s; they only reduce the chance you may contact one. So waiting is extremely important. (More on this later) If you know you have an STD and are not sure how to tell him, I cover this in more detail in the course on IntegrityDating.
How do you know you are with a Keeper?
It is when you have the guarantee of three very important things as proof of his love. Get excited! These are coming up in the next lesson.